May 19, 2011

that fear...

Last Monday night, we got into a squabble.
I know, I know, it was my fault.
I am so poignant. I got easily irritated and will be easily moved by my anger. I have said words that I believe isn't appropriate.
Between us, I've always been the person who always tell "not to take me for granted", "decisions shouldn't be made when you are angry" but I have swallowed those words myself.
Little did I know, I was the one who should know and fathom those words.
You don't like arguments, you hate squabbles, you never get mad at me and if you does, I didn't know what to do. I never want you to get mad at me. Yes, I am afraid when you are angry. I was like a child who wants to ran and lock myself up into my room when you are mad at me.
In a day or two, you haven't answered my calls, nor responded on my messages.
I was so worried, that there might be something that happened to you.
I hardly slept. I found myself stirred last last night, crying. I was so preoccupied thinking of you.
At that moment, I really wanted to be with you, I was thinking of going to your place.
The next day, the second day that you weren't talking to me, I was thinking that you already want me out of your life because I have always been like this. I can't help but cry and cry... I needed you.
You are not only my boyfriend, but you are also my bestfriend, and you know that.
When you aren't talking to me, I don't know what to do, because you have always been my strength and my weakness.
For once, I have gathered all the courage and words that I need to say.
I was so happy when finally, you didn't fail me, I know you wouldn't.
Cause I know you love me as much as I love you.
And I thank God so much for bringing you into my life.
I am sorry again and I swear, I'll never ever ever outburst easily.

*emotional much, eh?

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