January 02, 2012

Why?

I am about to age up again. I am, 9-days from now, will turn 20.
But guess what?
I cannot even decide what haircut should I get, what time should I go home, what time should  I sleep.
I feel so guarded.
Everything I do is judged. Everything I want to say is barged. Everything.
I cannot even say what I feel, it feels like I don't have the privilege to.
Whenever I express whatever I feel, the sadness, the happiness, the excitement, the anger, everything, they always have something to say about it, they get mad, it's as if I am not allowed to feel that way.
As much as I want to, I want to blame them of whoever I am right now. The reason why I am so timid and so reserved. Why I barely tell or state whatever it is in me. It is painful to hide. It is like lying in your own self.
I want to break-free.

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