February 24, 2013

P R E S S U R E D

I suck at the title part, so instead, I just indicated whatever I am feeling right now.

Way back 2009, I don't even know what was I thinking when I sign up for BS Hotel and Restaurant Management.
All throughout the semesters, I was trying to convince myself that I took it up because I love to cook. But fuck that.

I don't love to cook, I just like it. And bitch trust me when I say LIKE and LOVE are two different words. What was my 17-year-old-self thinking back then? 

Sometime in my 2nd year, I find myself in the Fine Arts section in our library and my friends would almost reject whenever I ask them to come with me on the 5th floor, the habitat of CFA (College of Fine Arts). Those who knows me best would always pop out the big question, "Why not shift?" Then I would be left stunned, thinking, WHY SHOULDN'T I?
Well anyways, I am sooooooo late for regrets.

I only have two months left. I can still remember last year, how I am so schmexcited to graduate, how I am so schmeager to work. But now, it is so much different. I can feel my tummy hurling whenever somebody asks me, "So after graduation, what's your plan?" Honestly, I don't have any plans, except that I want to have a break. A smooth, nice break. I mean, come on people, I have been in school for almost 18 years of my life and before I take another years of nonstop fighting to live life, I want to have a break, just a short break. So I can think, mull things over and regroup.

But holy guacamole, everybody was like expecting huge from me. Even myself. I am so much pressured.
Taking a short break doesn't mean I don't have any plans for my life and that I would like to be a bummer.
I want to have a job, I want to earn, I want growth for my career. BUT I don't know how.
How am I going to begin with it. Where am I even gonna start?
There's always that bullshit BUT.

So now what?

XX

No comments:

Post a Comment